One Day I'm a Lion, the Next Day I'm a Mouse

Original Guilt, that's what they should call it.

The reason why we give to charity is a hushed little secret.  When it's a young cashier at the local grocery store, white and pretty, someone we can relate to, it's easy to give.  But when we see someone under the highway, begging for coins, not so much.  It's so easy to look down, to look away.  They, "the other," aren't responsible enough to spend their money correctly, I'm sure.  We need a whole agency to make these decisions for them.  Who cares if this defeats the purpose of charity altogether.

Sometimes I think that if guilt never existed, neither would mankind.  If there were no consequences, if there was no little rule book - a Bible, a Qur'an.  What started this all?

I don't get the ending, I don't get the means.  Why not cut the middle man? Why not give directly to the poor?

I ponder this now as I am asked to collect money for my fellow students.  Money for more scholarships and a "better school," I'm told.  I'm one of the students receiving these very scholarships, but every time I pass by, I feel a tinge of guilt for not giving.  I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my scholarships.  I feel so low and inferior to everyone around me, so low and inferior.