Monday, March 21, 2011

Bread Feeds the Body while Hope Feeds the Soul

Just wait a minute.  Regroup.  Two very difficult years have broken my spirits.  I'm not where I want to be.  So lets try something new.  I'm going to take a risk today and muster up all my courage to do it.  I'm going to quit one of my jobs and try to trust you.  I'm going to try.  I hate your damn gypsy soul, but today I need your help.  If only you knew how hard its become, if only you knew.  We have had a good week together, probably the best we've ever had.  But this single flower blossom doesn't bring spring.  Not with us. 

Call me a pessimist, call me a bitch, but I don't think my little plan will last long.  It's like wisdom teeth, it's painful to lose, but once they're gone, they're gone.  My wisdom teeth ripped away my trust for you.  Just as hard as it is to welcome you back into my life, it's even harder for you to change.  You were born for leaving, for running away.  And a single flower doesn't bring spring.  No way. No way.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Girl Who Has Everything

Dear God,

I used to believe that no matter how lost I got, how frustrated I became, I could always find my way back.  Somehow I could detour my way through, retrace my steps.  I could ask for help and someone would hear my voice.  Mortal or immortal.  Maybe you, maybe an angel, maybe lady luck.  But today I am more and more lost.  I'm looking for traces, for crumbs, but there are none.  It's as though I'm in another world.  The wind around me has changed and when I look into a mirror, I see a stranger.  Did I read your lips incorrectly?  Was this not the path for me?  When it's dark and cold and no one there to bare witness, I hide my face in your arms and cry.  I've lost hope.  I won't find my way again.  I'm too far gone.  I will never be what I've always dreamed.