Tuesday, February 15, 2011

She Sings the Songs that Make the Whole World Sing

Hush little baby don't say a word
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird...

This is my chance to remind you how much I hate you.  So many dark nights I've had, so many times I've tried to disappear into thin air.  Don't you see how disappointed I am?  I carry so much shame on my shoulders, so much hurt.  How are you so selfish? Don't you see what you've done?  Over the years I have forgotten what it was once like to trust you.  You're demeanor getting progressively worse is the only thing I hold true these days.  How many more times do I need to hold up a mirror to your face?  Maybe you're blind, maybe I'm stupid for still trying.  

Do you know that I don't love you anymore?  Never again will I smile at the sound of your name.  Of this I am ashamed too.  We could have had the perfect little family.  But when I rewind and play back the past, I know I'm dreaming.  There in the past lies my little heart shattered.  

Today I will tell you this all over again.  Again and again until I'm sure you have understood.  I want to haunt your dreams like you haunt mine.  But when I try to speak, my voice breaks, my lips quiver.  I am not as strong as it seems.  I am only a child.

...And if that horse and cart fall down
You'll still be the sweetest one in town.