Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I'm a Mess, I Confess

Let no love fall victim to circumstance.  Love is this, love is that.  Ya ya ya.  Love is hopelessly hoping.  

My worst crime was thinking you could save me.  You speak too little, I speak too much.  I keep telling myself that the next time I play the field, I'm taking home a writer, a rich one, a smart one.  I'm tired of buying used and spending my life trying to rebuild.  Next time I'll do better.  But really, I know it's a lie.  I just want someone to love me like crazy.

I should be studying right now.  I should be planning my future.  Instead I'm in my bed thinking of you.  All I can think is that if today was my last day, I wouldn't do what I'm doing today.

You love me with all that you have.  You can't hide it.  But even the best you have to give doesn't match what I have to offer.  Your eyes glance down my neck and you touch the necklace you put there.  You're so proud of yourself.  I've sacrificed so much for this moment.  And I give you everything I have.  I continue to make so many fucking sacrifices but I never even mention these things.  Do you see the irony too?

I'm happy outside.  I'm happy inside.  I'm happy deep inside.  Deep deep deep inside?  I'm doomed.


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